Polycamp 2005 (Part The First)

Let's see... so much to say...

This weekend, and then some, was given over entirely to Polycamp at the Longhouse in Redmond. I took off work Friday so we could have a little extra time. Last year's Polycamp seemed to go too fast. kovee lives an hour's drive away, so I picked her up first, and we loaded the tent and other camping items she was supplying. Her family camps a lot more than senssuzy and myself, so she had most of the basics. I bought an air mattress and some other odds and ends. There was a lot of stuff, too much for a single carload given the size of our car. I love my Civic, but it just ain't built for haulin'.

The three of us reached the site a bit before 1:00. Suzy joined a session on poly families starting then, and Kovee and I unloaded the car and set up the tent. In fact Kovee did most of the tent-pitching herself, while I was called away on an errand, and I was surprised how quickly she got it finished. It was good we'd arrived no later, as campsites were rapidly becoming scarce.

Then we joined Suzy for the last half-hour of the poly family session. There was a camera in the room. I had heard, just a day or so earlier, that Polycamp was to be filmed for a documentary by a little UK outfit called Firecracker Films. Three young people--all with that cute accent they have--would be here and there throughout the weekend with their camera and microphone, and they'd also be doing some interviews. They promised only to include people who granted permission. We were told their angle was to be a positive one, as one of the filmmakers was poly.

The discussion, what I heard of it, was a good one. Two kids (one a teenager, one rather younger) were expressing their views on growing up in a poly situation, and were quite articulate. Anyone who thinks being raised in a non-traditional family damages children, I thought, ought to talk to these two. Kovee and I then stayed on for the Poly 101 session, which discussion in fact covered a wide range of topics, as many of the participants were fairly experienced already. Storm had an interesting comment, to the effect that "jealousy is a myth": The term "jealousy", he suggests, is an umbrella term for so many other emotions that it's practically meaningless, and one ought to speak in terms of the actual underlying emotions and issues. I can relate, as I've thought along similar lines myself.

We had some trouble getting the air mattress inflated. Must remember, for next camping trip, to bring a big rechargable battery with an AC outlet on it, for powering stuff like this. It's awkward trying to inflate a queen-size mattress using an electric pump attached to the car's cigarette lighter by way of an AC/DC adapter. Particularly when you've parked as close to the campsite as you can, and you then have to get the mattress out of the way to let other cars through.

At a nearby campsite, my sweetie zaratyst and her otherloves mholmesiv and silenceleigh, and damiana_swan and duckdaring, all made an appearance. I didn't get to see very much of Zara this weekend, apart from some time in the hot tub and some snuggling at Saturday's concert. But every time I passed her, she gave me a smooch in passing. I resolve to make it up to her on our next date.

With the car unloaded and our campsite more or less in good working order, we attended the potluck dinner, featuring a wonderful variety of dishes. This was followed by a mixer, in which we were presented with hypothetical relationship scenarios and asked to come up with responses. Some were serious, some quite silly. There were a lot of familiar faces present, and a lot of new ones. An acquaintance was going around the table giving everyone free back rubs, and I quite enjoyed mine. I felt, once again, how much I like these people. They are intelligent, friendly, and compassionate, not to mention witty.

Suzy had asked S and M to drive over in S's car with the stuff that hadn't fit into the first carload. When they finally arrived, Kovee and I unloaded the car. By the time we'd finished, there was a van and another car parking them in. I helped them to unpack so it'd go quicker, allowing S and M to leave. Poor M didn't want to be there. Squicked by the possibility of seeing naked people. Have we so utterly failed to teach her the important things, like the fact that body modesty is a social disease? Sigh. Suzy thinks M may be simply rebelling against her freethinking mother by being conservative and conformist. Perhaps she'll grow out of it.

Suzy drove herself home around that time. Kovee and I stayed on, spending some time being social in the hot tub (ahhhh, naked outdoor hot-tubbing), and some up at the Longhouse watching the latter part of Bandits. I'd seen it before, but enjoyed it enough to want to see it again.

The next morning, I managed to get Kovee's propane grill assembled and lit, and use it to grill some bacon and eggs for the two of us. I was inordinately proud of this humble achievement. We also helped ourselves to bananas and orange juice. I'd say we did a good job stocking the cooler. We neglected some other items, though, such as a scissors or Swiss army knife (for cutting open heavy plastic ties on never-before-opened cookware) and paper towels (should've been obvious). More notes for next time.

Suzy drove herself to the site, and attended a morning session on "Exploring our Barriers to Intimacy". Kovee and I met up with her later, and while Kovee attended a session on drawing the human form, I helped carry Kovee's small table and some of Suzy's jewelry items to the vendor area. I also helped by manning the "booth" for an hour and a half. A relaxing change from the busy rest of the day. (Sitting behind a table watching people walk past is much more fun when you can see their breasts.) Through the course of the day, she received some positive feedback, made one sale (an entire jewelry set) and a barter with siouxiequeue, a necklace in exchange for a Gaia Consort CD! Win-win, I'd say. Siouxie wore the necklace during her performance later that evening. Two other almost-customers expressed sufficient interest in the jewelry that they wanted Suzy to come back the next day. Though Suzy elected not to return on Sunday, I was quite proud of her and happy to see people interested in her work.

Kovee and I attended a crowded discussion of "Poly and Religion". I sat with Kovee and with the lovely eleri. I heard some great stuff here, and from my perspective the two hours flew by. One panelist described his parents as "rational agnostic humanists", which pretty much fits me today. Another term that came up was "strict agnostic", meaning "holds the view that nobody can know whether God exists or not". Funnily enough, my coworker and carpool buddy describes himself exactly this way. I think I now have a better understanding of why people stick with a religion when they don't believe in its doctrines: Some folks are raised with a religion, and its rituals get into their blood. They feel, not just that they have a religion, but that the religion is part of them, a central part of their identity. So they would never consider converting to another religion, even if it more closely matched their own views. Instead, they work to convince the authorities who control the doctrine, at various levels, to change their views. Myself, I'm with Storm (a panelist): I didn't have a strong religious upbringing, and feel free to adopt any religion that best suits me, or to scorn them all if none of them do, perhaps making up my own instead. Storm is working along similar lines, attempting to widen the views of Unitarian Universalism to encompass poly ideas. I like the thought that there's a church out there that will accept me exactly as I am, and not attempt to contradict any of my views. Still not sure I need a church or an organized religion, no matter how broad-minded. While other people seem to need rituals, I seem not to. Perhaps they'd appeal to me if they coincided with my beliefs, but I don't currently have any that would merit any rituals. What I need to do, in fact, is find out more about my own spirituality directly so I'll know what to believe, and can stop calling myself an agnostic.

More on that later.

The evening's main event, and possibly the main event of the entire weekend, was the Gaia Consort performance. The field filled up with chairs, and with fans. The band seemed to be having fun. The energy level in the crowd was high; people were spirited, mirthful. There was lighthearted dancing, with the dancers in all kinds of states of dress or undress. (I wore no more than a silk robe all day. Clothing should be optional, dammit!) The film crew had their hands full trying to capture everything. I think the camera made the band nervous, but the crowd's unstoppable enthusiasm buoyed them up. Their love of the music, and the music-makers, was palpable. I saw a wet cheek or two. For myself, in addition to the great music and getting to watch the dancing, I was delighted to get to sit with my sweet Zara and with Eleri, and get snuggles from both. And then I watched the second half of the concert with Suzy and (when she took a break from dancing) with Kovee. I was floating by then.

It occurs to me, not for the first time, that the polyamory movement owes a lot to the hippies' free love movement in the sixties. The idea of setting your heart free, to love as many as you wish, hasn't really changed. It's simply grown up, added a firm commitment to responsibility, and lost the drug focus. Apart from seeing no drug use at the concert, I felt like I was attending a mini-Woodstock.

This entry grows long as my time grows short. I'll have to post the rest another time.